Bottoms are big in San José and, indeed, in all Costa Rica. In case yours isn't significant enough to be noticed, a girl can actually buy padded bum enhancers. Just ask, at a lingerie store, for a "bloomer relleno"(Spanish for stuffing). That out of the way, there are other important things a visitor should know about San José.

San José de la Boca del Monte had its beginnings in the 19th century, when free land was allotted to anyone willing to plant coffee. The early settlement was so insignificant and impenetrable the Spanish conquerors didn't bother to fortify San José. In 1948, President José Ferrer abolished the country's superfluous army.

Today, San José, smack-dab in the centre of the country, is surrounded by coffee cafetals, banana plantations, cloud forests and mountains, stretching east to the Caribbean and west to the Pacific. San José remains a colonial city and, culturally, has yet to go beyond its sleepy beginnings. And therein lies its charm. Yes, there is a McDonald's overlooking a main square — a hideous cement slab - where families congregate on weekends to throw grain at zillions of pigeons. Pretty well, everything worth seeing is within a 15-minute walk of Central Park, the heart of the city.

SIGHTSEEING: The National Theatre [El Teatro Nacional de Costa Rica], an ornate structure with romantic murals, marble columns and classical sculpture, is the most popular tourist destination in San José. This lovely edifice was funded in the 1890s by means of a heavy tax on coffee production. Wags said at the time: "Costa Rica was a village,surrounded by a National Theatre." In the theatre, the Britt Cafe,reminiscent of a Belle Epoque European coffee house, serves delectable lunches, pastries and Britt coffee, from its own plantation.

The Mail and Telegraph (Correos y Telégrafos de Costa Rica) building, an elaborate green structure with spires and cupolas, was built in 1914. Here you can mail your postcards, visit the Stamp Museum [El Museo Filatélico] and duck into the Cafe de Correos, to regroup, away from pedestrian mobs and cars intent on murder. The cafe brews excellent coffee and do take the trip to the servicios (washrooms), through corridors of thousands of private mail boxes with locals peering into them.

Inside the Gold Museum [Museos del Banco Nacional; Museo del Oro Precolombino], accessed through a giant bank vault, the walls and fittings are an extravaganza of exotic Costa Rican woods and the displays of dazzling pre-Colombian gold objects awesome. Interestingly, there have never been gold mines in Costa Rica. Gold was (and is) panned in mountain streams. The gold work, with motifs similar to those found in Colombia, Mexico and Panama, indicates the indigenous peoples carried on a vibrant trade throughout Central America. (By the way, the only official tourist office, in San José, is in the same complex as the gold museum. In March, the tourism bureau launched a glossy English language pamphlet featuring a walking tour of the city.)

The Jade Museum [Museo del Jade], in the Institute of National Security headquarters, is a treasure trove of carved jade, ceramics and indigenous domestic artefacts. Although there are no jade sources in Costa Rica, hordes of decorative objects were found in archaeological sites. The well-documented displays offer a fascinating insight into the lives of regional tribes, including the Bribri, who still reside in traditional villages on the Caribbean coast.

The most delightful respite from the confusion that is San José is in the Spirogyra Butterfly Garden, in Amon. The enclosed compound guarantees a constant shower of colourful butterflies, including the giant blue morpho. Don't be surprised if a butterfly lands on your shoulder. As one visitor commented, "This place lightens the heart." Take a book, sit and marvel surrounded by flutterbys and tropical plants.

DINING: Ticos (Costa Ricans) eat simply and cheaply in sodas (local cafes). The Mercado Central, established in 1880 is an ideal spot to sample a causa, the national dish consisting of meat, rice, beans and coleslaw (about $4 U.S.). Grab a seat at one of the many 1950s-style diners in the market — also the home of Costa Rica's first ice cream. Visit the counter at La Sorbetera de Lolo Moro and try Moro's original frozen confection. Made with crushed vanilla beans, it teases the tongue with overtones of nutmeg and cinnamon.

Las Delicias de Peru, a neat clean soda, has a friendly chef dishing up inexpensive Peruvian specialties at noon. Try the chicharro de calamar (squid), yellow potatoes stuffed with shrimp and steamed sea bass (corvina). Cafe Mundo caters to a lively international crowd. It's lodged in a colonial mansion, with art deco furnishings, vivid artworks, verandas and garden tables, a rarity in San José. Offerings include patacones (plantain chips), pizza, chicken and vegetarian dishes.

For a fancy evening, head for the Hotel Grano de Oro, in [Paseo Colon] (taxi, $8). The opulent dining room, operated by a Winnipeg couple, is festooned with lavish draperies and outfitted with gorgeous wood, stained glass and marble columns. This establishment also has a glam courtyard, New York-style bar and an excellent chef whose specialties include lamb chops, with fig puree, and Pie Grano deOro, a coffee cream and chocolate dream.

Costa Rica's supermarkets, such as the Auto Mercado, and Super Saretto sell take-out food, booze and the usual groceries. But, best of all, you can load up on the country's best export coffee —Toscafe Orosi, Dota and Britt. There's no customs' limit on the amount you can take home.

SHOPPING:  Outside the Mercado Central, Avenida Central [del boulevard] becomes a pedestrian shopping street. Opposite the market, there's a string of old-fashioned dry goods stores selling lingerie, PJs and, yes, bloomer rellenos, while the Universal, a retro department store, appears to specialize in housewares. Further along, the Carrion (carry on) stocks two floors of fashionable tropical duds and a seductive assortment of glamorous sandals, espadrilles and wedgies — starting at $10. For those serious about native arts and crafts, the spot to stop is Galeria Namu, a store dedicated to authentic aboriginal work including exquisite baskets, woven by the Wounaan tribe. It can take months to weave one large basket, thus prices range from $150 to $2,000 (U.S.). Namu also sells jewellery and miniature animals carved from tegua "ivory.''  Tegua, a palm nut, has the properties of animal ivory and is every bit as beautiful. The carvings are similar to Japanese netsuke. Bracelets,start at $8 (U.S.), while complex birds and animals are priced upwards of $75 (U.S).

SLEEPING: San José has a good selection of atmospheric inner-city hotels, starting with the Hotel Gran de Costa Rica, next to the National Theatre. The Gran, the place to be seen, has a lovely vintage lobby and a long alfresco arcade that is the closest thing San Jose has to a sidewalk cafe. There's cocktail piano and a smart food and bar menu. Try the addictive fresh hearts of palm (palmetto) salad. The Gran was built in 1928, by government decree,because there wasn't a first-class hotel in the entire country. The contractor was granted "a series of fiscal benefits" (wink, wink) in exchange for setting aside two ritzy suites for lodging foreign diplomats and VIPs. President Oscar Arias entertains here and you could find yourself at a table next to his party.

The Britannia and the Don Carlos, both in historical colonial buildings, are all wood, tile and tropical plants - simply charming. The Britannia has an atmospheric restaurant in its antique wine cellar and at the Don Carlos, a pleasant cafe serves local specialties all day. Then there's Las Cinco Horangas Rojas (Five Red Ants), an eccentric bed and breakfast, in an old Tico house.  Inside the walled garden a variety of birds and critters scurry about and colourful artworks, by owner Mayra Guell, boggle. Guell describes her garden as a mini -ecosystem. Rooms are cramped, but the breakfast venue, actually a grass shack, makes up for them. All three hostelries are, in Amon, a short walk to the main drag and double room run about $60 to $120 (U.S.).

Further afield, in San Rafael [de Heredia], the Hotel Bougainville is set in eight acres of garden and park, where 60 orchid species and hot pink bougainvillea accost the senses. The park also boasts 15 heliconia varieties, 50 bird species, a classic privet maze, garden sculpture and a rancho with artefacts from an old sugar mill. The hotel, run by a Swiss family, has an excellent restaurant and services that cater to foreigners. A taxi to the city centre costs $10 (U.S.).

EXCURSION:  A morning trip to the beautiful Britt Coffee Plantation, in suburban Heredia, is a must-do. Visitors learn about coffee via a multimedia presentation by three comedic actor-guides, who perform a hilarious stage play. (Fact learned: Britt sends coffee to Germany to be decaffeinated. The white powder, from the process, is sold to pharmaceutical companies and Coca Cola.) The tour also includes a giant roaster, a coffee cupping (tasting) demo and a tramp between rows of coffee bushes. The experience ends with an excellent Tico buffet lunch ($35 U.S.). Call 1-800-462-7488 or inquire at any hotel in San José.

SIDEBAR

LISTEN UP:  San José's pot-holed inner city roads, now jammed with cars, were built for oxcarts. There are no firm addresses in San José. Do not consider driving. Taxis are cheap. Closed walking shoes are mandatory. All sidewalks are uneven and pocked with ditches, gaping holes and metal protrusions. Perhaps, the rainy season and earthquakes have something to do with this, but most Ticos agree sidewalks are low priority, in a country, where the masses discovered the automobile only a decade ago.  Any available money goes to maintaining (sort of) the rocky, muddy,eroding rural roads. Tourists cannot help but notice decorative iron gates and bars on all windows. Be aware anything not nailed down will be stolen. Your body is not at risk, just your purse and objects left in cars. Pamphlets, at tourists' attractions, instruct foreigners in the art of guarding their belongings.